What Might Have Been.

Why is it never enough?
I always have to keep going, I never stop.
The second it slows down, or I don't have anything to do, I feel lost.
Sometimes, I don't know what I want... Not even a little bit.
Sometimes I don't know where I am going, or what I want to do with my life,
other times, I think I've got it all figured out.
Is there something wrong with me?
People always comment on how busy I am... tell me I am crazy for keepingmyself so busy... The truth is, I can't help it. I fall into this, almost depression sort of thing when I'm not busy. When I give myself too much timeI start to question everything...
The main things that I want, are too far out of my reach, too far in many different ways... Distance, Time, Place, Timing... There's nothing I can do about it. There's nothing I can say that will change anything, and if it did change, would I still want it so bad? How do I even know what I want right now...?
It all happened too fast for me know where my head is in the entire situation.
I don't know where my head is at, at all, right now. I'm questioning myself as to whether or not I can handle all of this. I know I have the capability, but nobody else knows that. Nobody else has the faith in me, causing me to lose faith in myself.
I am tired of feeling like I have to prove the entire world wrong. I'm tired of feeling like I'm not getting anywhere, when I know I am.
I need to understand I can't have everything I want, when I want it. You would think I'd understand that by now... I don't usually get exactly what I want... and that's okay. But for once...

I'm tired of the
"What Might Have Beens."