What Might Have Been.

Why is it never enough?
I always have to keep going, I never stop.
The second it slows down, or I don't have anything to do, I feel lost.
Sometimes, I don't know what I want... Not even a little bit.
Sometimes I don't know where I am going, or what I want to do with my life,
other times, I think I've got it all figured out.
Is there something wrong with me?
People always comment on how busy I am... tell me I am crazy for keepingmyself so busy... The truth is, I can't help it. I fall into this, almost depression sort of thing when I'm not busy. When I give myself too much timeI start to question everything...
The main things that I want, are too far out of my reach, too far in many different ways... Distance, Time, Place, Timing... There's nothing I can do about it. There's nothing I can say that will change anything, and if it did change, would I still want it so bad? How do I even know what I want right now...?
It all happened too fast for me know where my head is in the entire situation.
I don't know where my head is at, at all, right now. I'm questioning myself as to whether or not I can handle all of this. I know I have the capability, but nobody else knows that. Nobody else has the faith in me, causing me to lose faith in myself.
I am tired of feeling like I have to prove the entire world wrong. I'm tired of feeling like I'm not getting anywhere, when I know I am.
I need to understand I can't have everything I want, when I want it. You would think I'd understand that by now... I don't usually get exactly what I want... and that's okay. But for once...

I'm tired of the
"What Might Have Beens."

I'm Me, Take it or Leave it.

It's camp fires, the smell of gun powder, brand new socks, comfy sweats, thunder storms, colored leaves, country songs, soaring eagles, steel guitars, slipper days, lots of pillows, driving trucks, favorite jeans, roller blades, opening mail, mystery books, flickering candles, vanilla aroma, white wine, shooting stars, northern lights, glowing clouds, sunsets, hooded jackets, dressing up, drive in movies, fleece blankets, sleeping bags, silk sheets, the color green, pretty blue eyes, cameras, adrenaline rush, stage fright, gorgeous smile, big strong arms, hammocks, couples dancing, high heeled shoes, laughing, running, late night walks,

I've clearly been doing a lot of thinking lately....